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Essence of Materia Medica – page 23

They eventually feel as if they have completely failed in life, mat they are only taking others into believing they are capable, worthwhile individuals. They feel that they do not deserve their status, wealth and responsibilities. They begin to feel that they have no right to live, and that they are literally incapable of main-taining their occupations or relationships. They put the blame for everything on themselves. It is during this stage that Aurum patients become exquisitely sensitive to even chance remarks by others. For the most trivial of reasons, they may jump out of a high window and everyone is surprised. There did not seem to be any big problems and things seemed to be functioning smoothly. But no-one realised the depth of suffering these indi-viduals reach inside.
Finally, even the work strategy fails, and they become suddenly overwhelmed by depression, sadness, and grief. At this point, all is completely without hope. Everything becomes darker and darker, until there seems to be not one ray of light. To these Aurum patients, jt is as if the sun has been completely snuffed out and there is no longer any point in continuing to live.
By this stage, all the destruction which used to be turned out-ward in their resentment, irritability and rage, now turns inward. Their thoughts turn constantly to suicide. They feel only a gloom and sadness; life is no longer worthwhile in any sense. They reach the deepest states of depression of which human beings are cap-able.
In a recent newspaper article, there was a story about a man who shot his wife, his two children, and himself, because he THOUGHT he was going to lose his job. This was very likely an Aurum case. It is interesting that Aurum patients value gold (money) a lot. Their material positions are very important to them. This is one of the reasons why they are so industrious. They may work hours of overtime, partly to ensure their financial security, but also to help allay the feeling that they do not deserve their position.
Classically, the image of Aurum suicidal thinking has been that they have the impulse to jump from a high place. In all their misery and gloom, when they look over high edge, the idea over-takes them. "Now, one jump and there will be relief. They are overtaken by a kind of cloud, a sweet feeling that if they jump