Books

The Celle Seminars_Page 74

George Vithoulkas

(F.P.): No. I asked him what had come between us. We had sort of been seeing each other sporadically, and then he turned to this other woman; next I hear that he had proposed to her. Naturally I had to ask what had happened in our relationship, what was going on?
(G.V.): And what did your husband say?
(F.P.): He said that what she had told me wasn’t true, and I believed him. That was at the point when our sexual relationship was just beginning, very gradually. Our first real difficulty arose when I suddenly became pregnant. The next difficulty was that we married very quickly afterwards. Immediately afterwards my husband asked whether the child was his. Of course, I can understand his concern—it must be the same for every man in that situation—he just wanted to make sure that the child was really his. At first, my husband asked me to have an abortion. I went ahead and made all the arrangements for an abortion, but when it came to the actual day, I just couldn’t face it. (G.V.): Who suggested the abortion?
(F.P.): My husband. He knew that it was not really compatible with his professional and personal code of ethics. I think this conflict is at the root of many of our difficulties. Our second child was also born that same year. Even while the second child was on its way, my husband asked me whether it was really his child. This constant questioning, this lack of trust, has been prevalent in our marriage right from the beginning. My husband demanded that I be subordinate to him concerning all matters in our marriage. Our marital difficulties really reached a boil when I became more emancipated and started to assert myself more. He began to attribute all the difficulties that had ever arisen in our marriage to the fact that I was not a virgin when I married him. It’s very easy to do that.
(G.V.): Do you feel that at a certain point you really seduced your husband because he had already proposed to that other woman? Do you feel that you lured him into marrying you? (F.P.): No, that’s not my style.

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