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The Celle Seminars_Page 58

George Vithoulkas

(D.): I would like to add that this view has been served to my mother, in the form of bedtime reading, for years. (G.V.): You are obviously a very religious man. Have you ever preached your beliefs to others?
(H.): In the course of my own religious studies, I have had to deal with these problems. I emphatically reject the notion, as my daughter has just suggested, that I fed my wife literature on demonic possession as bedtime reading. (G.V.): Is it true that you are very jealous of your wife? (H.): This used to be more the case than it is now. My jealousy is based on a number of factors, for example, there is a significant age difference between my wife and myself. I think that when the children no longer really needed her in the family, she began to feel a vacuum. She defined it as the feeling of »the ceiling is going to come down on me at home.« And this probably produced in me a sort of panic. I wondered what was going on. What shortcomings does my wife see in me? How does she perceive things at present? She went back to old interests, things that were not connected with our home. Today I can see that the activities she took up then where purely social, simply acts of Christianity towards her neighbor, as it is expressed in literature. However, in the beginning I saw this as a panic situation: my wife was making every attempt to detach herself from me and move on. You must consider this situation when you look at all the things that have been touched on earlier.
(F.P.): May I add something to that? There have been real scenes stemming from accusations that were really only my husband’s sick ideas. He thought I was going around with, or was interested in, other men. This was an unbearable period of time for me. From the beginning of our marriage, my husband was always frightened of losing me. Therefore he tried to screen me and everyone else in my family from the »big bad world«; at least he made every attempt to isolate us. His jealousy prevented, or interrupted, any attempt we might have made to establish contact with the outside world, or any attempt others might have made to establish contact with us.

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