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The Celle Seminars_Page 261

Celle Seminar I, Case 9: Lymphoma

(G. V.): Were you always sweet and submissive with your boyfriends, or were you sometimes irritated with them? (F.P.): No, I always started to let them know when I didn’t like something, but their reaction in each case was so rejecting that I’d then become afraid that my boyfriend wouldn’t accept me any longer. So, I would keep quiet and try and adjust, adapt. (G. V.): Can you get furious sometimes with your boyfriend’s be¬havior?
(F.P.): Oh, yes, very. I can get very irritated about it, but usually I can really only get directly angry at people who are not very close to me, when it isn’t threatening for me. (G. V.): Where do you live now? Do you live by yourself or with your family or with your boyfriend?
(F.P.): I did have an apartment in my adoptive mother’s house from 1981 to 1988. It was a small apartment on the first floor. I felt very comfortable there. But since my illness I have moved back in with my mother. She’s got a big house in the country, and I’ve built an apartment for myself there. (G. V.): Were you ever able to eat fat? (F.P.): I never liked it and it never did me a lot of good. (G. V.): What do you mean, did you have a reaction from it? (F.P.): If I ate as much fat as other people sometimes eat, I would feel sick or nauseated.
(G. V.): How do you feel now under this investigation? (F.P.): I’m able to forget that there are a lot of people around me. I’m not bothered by the camera or the microphone. Initially I was a little worried about them, but now it doesn’t bother me at all.
(G. V.): Can you give a talk in front of a group of people if required to?
(F.P.): I am quite capable of doing so, but I like to prepare myself first. For example, if I were asked to give a fifteen minute talk about some drug reaction that I know quite well, I wouldn’t feel good about having to talk spontaneously. I would still prefer to prepare myself for it.

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