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THE BERN SEMINAR-PAGE 72

It’s not that sort of feeling so strongly today. (G.V.): I see. It’s a raw feeling?
(F.P.): No, it’s not like I have a sore throat or something. I guess you would say tickling, it’s a kind of irritating feeling – I’m trying to reproduce it so that I can figure out what it is. (Coughs) I guess it’s a tickling, but also there’s an immediate reflex in my diaphragm, it’s very fast.
(G.V.): Do you want someone in the room, do you want company? (F.P.): Most of the time, no, but I’ve been enjoying very much being with people for periods of time, and I’ve been really pacing myself. (G.V.): Now that you’re sick I mean.
(F.P.): No, no, no, that’s what I mean; I’ve been pacing myself during my illness. Most of the time I need to be just by myself and just try to breathe and listen to music. (Chuckles) (G.V.): Does it do you good if someone comes to console you? (F.P.): Yes, it’s nice to have someone come once in a while. (G.V.): Do you understand consolation? (F.P.): Uh huh.
(G.V.): Do you like consolation? (F.P.): Oh sure. (G.V.): Do you feel weepy?
(F.P.): During the day time, no, I feel quite cheerful. What the pattern has been: before I get a new remedy – because we’ve tried a couple of different things – I’ll feel quite cheerful. I take one remedy, one dose, or maybe another dose, but when I start to have what I describe as my reaction, then it does make me irritable and slightly weepy. But I’m not the kind of person to feel sorry for myself too much. The presence is there.
(G.V.): Now during your illness? (F.P.): A little bit, a little bit more yesterday. (G.V.): Do you become more vulnerable, a little more tender? (F.P.): Uh huh, yeah; ’cause I tend to be sort of a strong person. Yeah, a little like »0h No!« But it’s only been during that strange cough at night that’s been making me feel that way. (G.V.): Why do you say, »0h no!«?
(F.P.): Well, that strange cough at night that comes from nowhere, where I’m not able to get anything out, that goes on nonstop from 7:30 at night to 9:30 in the morning, with the longest break between coughs fifteen minutes, and it makes me weaker and weaker, and achier and