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The Celle Seminars_Page 250

George Vithoulkas

(F.P.): No, I could have managed without more money, but my adopted mother did provide additional financing, and that made it easier for me to study. My adoptive mother is a single woman without children of her own. She wanted to leave me her house when she died.
(G.V.): Was that a very traumatic experience for you? (F.P.): It was really a very decisive experience because I realized then that I was very much a person bound by convention. (G.V.): What do you mean by that?
(F.P.): I effectively lost my family name, and because of that, I didn’t feel that I belonged in my family anymore, although I still had very good relationships with my relatives. (G.V.): Did you cry?
(F.P.): Yes, a lot, but always on my own, so at first no one noticed that I was suffering because of this decision. (G.V.): Didn’t you talk to your sister?
(F.P.): I talked less to my sister because I preferred talking to my mother. But of course, my mother was quite upset by my father’s death and had a lot on her mind. (G.V.): What were you doing in 1988? (F.P.): I was working in a hospital pharmacy. (G.V.): Was there any turmoil in your life during that time? (F.P.): It wasn’t really a violent turmoil, it was more sort of a progressive, creeping unhappiness that lasted awhile. (G.V.): What was the reason for this unhappiness? (F.P.): For a long time I could not admit the real reason for my sadness, which was that my boyfriend was very remote. I suffered over that for a long time. (G.V.): Why did you separate?
(F.P.): Well, we didn’t actually separate, but I had the feeling that he just wanted me as a friend, someone to be there whenever he needed and otherwise nothing more. All this lasted for a very long period of four or five years. (G.V.): Was that your first love affair?

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