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The Celle Seminars_Page 158

George Vithoulkas

things like that because they fascinated me. I was never worried that I might have become dependent on drugs, but I think my parents had real fears that I might. When I told my parents, their reaction was stronger than I had expected. (G.V.): Did they reject you, especially your father? Did they tell you that they didn’t want to see you anymore, things like that? What did your father say? (M.P.): Nothing, (laughs) (G.V.): Was it a strong reaction?
(M.P.): I think they were worried. In fact, they were a lot more worried than I thought they would be. It is not that my father didn’t say anything at all, it just that what he did say wasn’t important. It wouldn’t have been his style to say anything because he couldn’t have done anything about it anyway. He couldn’t have stopped me.
(G.V.): Why do you think you have kept so much anger towards your father inside?
(M.P.): Probably because he’s got all the weaknesses that I notice in myself.
(G.V.): You don’t like yourself?
(M.P.): I do like myself, but I don’t like my weaknesses. (G.V.): But you don’t like your father. Why don’t you like your father?
(M.P.): I like him, but it’s his weaknesses I don’t like! (laughs) (G.V.): Did something ever happen between you two which affected you very deeply? A certain rejection, or the feeling that you looked up to your father and he suddenly disappointed you? (M.P.): Well, certainly I looked up to him and believed what he told me for a very long time. (G.V.): But not anymore? (M.P.): Not really. (G.V.): Are you ambitious?
(M.P.): I make a lot of demands on myself, but I don’t think that I’m ambitious in the normal sense of the word. I’m not trying to become world champion in anything. (G.V.): Were you that ambitious before?

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