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The Celle Seminars_Page 154

George Vithoulkas

(M.P.): A simple answer is when I’m depressed, but that doesn’t say a lot.
(Therapist): For example, when he was thrown out of the macrobiotic communities one after the other he went into a real down state; he felt deeply rejected. He moved on from one to another, but after several days they always threw him out. That was a very, very hard experience for him.
(G.V.): Why did they throw you out? What is your explanation? (M.P.): At the first place it was not normal to take in cancerous people. I was only allowed to stay there because they didn’t know this beforehand. I didn’t think it was so important for them whether people there were ill or not, because they talked about illness and becoming healthy all the time. But the place was organized in another way. It wasn’t designed to help people in my situation. I worked in the laundry there and I really retreated into myself. I had problems with the head of the laundry. I couldn’t be more open because people there didn’t take much interest in me. I think it had to do more with their fear of being responsible for me than that I was rejecting. They didn’t treat me with real consideration; first they gave me the feeling that I could stay, and then two days later they changed their minds. I think this decision was already made from the beginning, but they needed me for their course; once their course was over, they kicked me out. It was kind of humiliating. I felt especially like kicking the laundry chief, (laughs) (G.V.): It seems that you had a special conflict with him. (M.P.): No, not really, but he was the leader, the one who made the decisions.
(G.V.): You didn’t like him?
(M.P.): No, I didn’t care about him very much one way or the other. He just didn’t interest me very much. (Therapist): You were very critical. Maybe it went like this: tension built up until after two days the laundry supervisor said, »You are too much for us, we can’t let you stay.« (M.P.): I don’t think that was the biggest problem. The biggest problem was that I wasn’t friendly with the other people. I closed

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