Books

The Celle Seminars_Page 116

George Vithoulkas

(G.V.): What did you feel when you went to the psychiatrist and he diagnosed you as having a neurosis? Did that bother you? (M.P.): I really didn’t want other people to know about it, and I didn’t want to tell other people about what was happening to me. I invented a story. I told them that I had to go away. I didn’t tell them that I was in therapy, but I was perfectly aware at the time of how great my difficulties were. (G.V.): How did you feel the moment you were told? (M.P.): It was written on a piece of paper; it was totally meaningless to me. There were lots of other people with problems, that was normal there at the hospital. Of course, I didn’t want to admit to outsiders what sort of problems I was having. (G.V.): Where are the headaches now mostly? (M.P.): They sort of wrap around my head. (G.V.): Do you have a constant headache, or does it only come at certain hours? Is there any time in twenty-four hours when you could say that you always feel better then? (M.P.): When the headaches let up, even a little, I immediately feel much more tired; it’s like two effects that cancel each other out.
(G.V.): When your headaches are better, do you only feel more tired or do you also become more depressed? (M.P.): It’s just pure tiredness, any sort of effort makes my headache worse. For example, if 1 have to do something or if 1 walk a few hundred yards, then my headache becomes more pressing, more oppressive. I can still force myself to go further, but then my headache gets worse. Even when I was twelve years old and I would go shopping with my mother to buy clothes in a chain store, I found it difficult to walk with her because I felt a sort of dizziness in the head.
(G.V.): How old were you when these headaches began? (M.P.): I don’t feel that there is a specific date I could pinpoint. (G.V.): More or less. When you were a child? (M.P.): I do remember that when I was about seven years old I had a feeling of waking up refreshed after sleep; but even now I remember feeling that heat w isn’t very good for my headaches.

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