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The Celle Seminars_Page 115

Celle Seminar I, Case 4: Neurodermatitis/Neurotic Fear/Alopecia

(M.P.): There’s no specific time I could point to and say, »Tbat’s when I was happy!« I feel that my ability to be happy ivas subdued. I didn’t have the energy to keep up; I feel like I was left behind. There was always someone there exhorting me to make an effort, like in school for example. And the respect that was demanded I show teachers was far too great, as if they knew what was best or right for me. (G.V.): Were you resentful?
(M.R): 1 think so, It takes me a long time before I have processed something inside, overcome something inside. (G. V.): How are your relationships with other people? (M.P.): I don’t talk to anyone. I really don’t maintain any contact with other people.
(G.V.): Do you live by yourself? Do you feel better staying at home alone?
(M.P.): It’s a burden for me to be with other people, not here but in general. I don’t feel like talking to people now. I wish I were different. I’d love to be a person who can go to a bar and drink a beer with somebody (although I don’t like beer), but I can’t do it, I can’t bear it. I don’t want to do that now because I feel that the demand to interact with people is something of an imposition on me. I know that when I go shopping I’ll have to ask people for things because it serves a purpose—50 grams of cheese or four slices of sausage—but any other interaction with people I feel to be a burden and an imposition on me. People just sort of disgust me in a way. I’m sick of them. I have no reason to take that attitude towards people because they’re basically friendly, but still, they sort of put me off.
(G.V.): Do you love your family; your brothers, sisters, mother and father?
(M.P.): My relationship with my sister is better than the relationship that I have with my parents, which isn’t very good. They constantly want me to talk to them, and they sort of devour me with their demands for contact. It’s as if they wanted to take the last bits of the thoughts in my head away from me, as if they wanted to have those as well.

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