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The Celle Seminars_Page 70

George Vithoulkas

thing that I really couldn’t cope with. I felt as if I had been thrown into life without any backing whatsoever. My parents were war survivors, and I really wasn’t ready for anything unusual. I ended my apprenticeship there. The company went into liquidation anyhow, into criminal liquidation. In fact, criminal is probably too kind of a word. I had other ideas and values. I spent a year in England and then I trained for three years to be a teacher. In the meantime, I got to know my husband, and then the chaos started all over again. Basically all the things I personally could not forgive myself for, like sexuality, again caused me problems. I was a child of the time. You could say my ideas corresponded with the current social mores. Before I got to know my husband, I was involved in a relationship with a lawyer who was manic-depressive. I think I really felt very much abused by him because I was in a dependent relationship with him. I really think that he ought to have known better.
(G. V.): What about your own sexuality? I mean, was it strong at that time? Did you have intense fantasies? (F.F.): No, not really, nor did I really have any strong sexual desires.
(G. V.): Have you ever masturbated? (F.P.): Yes.
(G.V.): Often? As often as once a day? (ER): No.
(G.V.): Have you ever touched or played with your genitalia? How about while talking on the telephone? (ER): No.
(G. V.): Or at any other time?
(F.P.): No. I’d like to point out that the man I slept with that one time was married. And now to the point: My husband made trouble for me because of this one premarital encounter. That very short affair wasn’t compatible with my husband’s conception of a premarital relationship.
(G.V.): Did you have any other extramarital relationships while you were married? (F.P.): No, never.

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