Books

The Celle Seminars_Page 56

George Vithoulkas

or the way he assesses people, I assume that he, at least in part, judged me in a similar fashion.
(G.V.): But has your husband ever actually said that this is what he thought was happening to you?
(F.P.): No, never; it’s implied in the interpretation my husband put on my illness. When he said to our children, » You cannot understand what is happening to mommy now,« what he really meant was that they wouldn’t be able to understand for a long time. That is a problem.
(G.V.): What is your opinion of this statement? (addresses husband)
(H.): In regard to the children, it’s quite difficult to describe the symptoms of an illness, for example, why a person suffers, why he hurts. When it comes to children, you cannot really tell them or explain to them the spiritual or mental variants of illness. It is very difficult to explain mental illness to children because they haven’t the insight that would enable them to comprehend what is going on. That is why I said to my children: »Now, at this time of your life, you cannot understand what is happening.« My reason for saying this was quite different from my wife’s interpretation of my motives.
(G.V.): What do you think about this issue? (addresses daughter) (D.): The conflicts between my parents have always been hidden from us children. Of course, children always pick up on trouble; and even if they don’t know exactly what is happening, they still perceive that things are not okay. The result is that they feel responsible and begin to ask themselves, »What have I done wrong?« We, the children, started developing physical symptoms. My mother was supposed to remain isolated because my father was so jealous. Gradually a basis of confidence developed, and my mother was able to talk openly to us about her personal experiences. Slowly, we began to grasp the situation and we were then able to understand certain problems.
(F.P.): Tell Mr. Vithoulkas how your view of my illness differs from your father’s.

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