Books

The Celle Seminars_Page 26

George Vithoulkas

(F.P.): I sometimes think about my illness, but whether those are fears in the sense that you mean, I don’t know. I’m not sure if this is fear, but I just retired from my job and this meant that I had to rearrange my everyday life. I am not sure how things are going to go in the future. I don’t really know if this is a fear in the sense that you mean.
(G. V.): Are you anxious about your future? (F.P.): It’s the unknown future.
(G. V.): When you are having an asthma crisis, is there a position in which you feel better or worse?
(F.P.): When I’m sitting down, like I am now, I feel better. (G. V.): You mean bent forward? (F.P.): Yes.
(G.V.): Do you have to get up from bed and sit on the edge? Do these attacks come at a particular hour? I would like you to talk about it, describe a little more.
(F.P.): For example, during the night it can happen that I have a dry cough; it may go on for so long that the bronchi spasm and I become short of breath. I then have to sit on the edge of the bed and try and breathe deeply. At this point, I use the inhalator. (G. V.): Now you are assuming a position as though you were under examination. Forget it, act naturally. I feel that you are criticizing yourself all the time. You are not talking from your heart, you are talking from your mind—rationally—and we don’t want that. Do you accept this? (F.P.): Yes, that may be so. (G.V.): But you cannot do otherwise?
(F.P.): I’d like to be more open, free, but I cannot. I think I have had to use my mind constantly to be able to cope with everything.
(G.V.): Have you had any traumatic experiences in your past, in your childhood? Did you perhaps take a fall while riding a horse?
(F.P.): There were no real traumatic experiences that I can recall. Once, when I was three years old, I was left by my parents. I was brought to some relatives, and my parents hadn’t let me know

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