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THE BERN SEMINAR-PAGE 115

how anxious he really is. We can then differentiate between the anxiety seen with Arsenicum, or Phosphorus, or Argentum, or Aconitum, or Calcarea, or Kali arsenicum, or Nitricum acidum; every one of these remedies will express anxiety in a certain way. How does he express his own fears?
VIDEO
(M.P.): …1 think it’s basically fear, and that is my main problem. (G.V.): Fear of heart attack?
(M.P.): It is not fear of my heart, just fear of losing my health or becoming ill; like if I get a small thing, like a pain or something, I immediately think that it is something serious, or the appendix, you know.
(G.V.): Did you have any skin eruptions that you suppressed during that age?
(M.P.): Not to my knowledge.
(G.V.): What happened during that age, what happened when you were twenty years old? Something happened to change it. (M.P.): Well, the only thing – it’s difficult putting things down to causes – I used to tell the doctors the story that I am now going to tell you: I smoked marihuana one night, and became very affected by it, my heart was greatly affected by the marihuana. Lots of people tell me that this is a usual thing, but I’d had alcohol, and then I laid on my bed and my heart was racing and racing. All I can remember is that I had great fear with it and I thought that I was going to die, but I woke up in the morning. But a few months after that I did not feel well, I felt perhaps that might have been a cause. Other than that, in my life, I was having great difficulty knowing what to do with my life. I was working for my father, and I was not happy working for him. There was family pressure to work in the family business and I did not really want to do it; so that was happening as well. (G.V.): Was there anything else?
(M.P.): Well, I had a difficulty with a girlfriend at the time. I’d been going with her for four years and she kept breaking the relationship off, and this used to send me into upsets. Finally I left her, I broke the relationship off. I needed to get away, I went to live in Paris.